Abused by Robinson
The following post is graciously shared by Geoff Smith, a survivor, whose testimony in the 2010 trial of Father James Robinson helped convict and sentence the priest to 21 years in jail for molestation. It is the first post from his own blog, www.abusedbyrobinson.com, which he began after the trial in an effort to tell his story and reach out to other Survivors.
Having been abused as a child I’ve spent all my life looking over my shoulder, searching for the reasons for what happened to me. I’m now 61 and have had a wonderful life. I’m married to Jill, I have three step children and three grandchildren. I am so proud of them all. I’ve made many mistakes, said many things that I can’t take back and hurt some of the closest people in my life. I have had a life of anger and I now realise I’ve got a big mouth. But, the most important thing that I’ve learned over many years is that I am not as hard as I thought I was. All my life I have been wearing armour to protect myself from other people. Yet through these last two years I have had to come to terms with my past, my relationship with my brothers and my mother. My father is dead. He died never being proud of anything that I ever did and I couldn’t do anything to make him proud.
Over the last three years I’ve done, in my opinion, two of the proudest things that I could have ever done as a man and a son. But my dad is dead and I can’t tell him. I saved a life and I went to court for justice; not only for me, but for the other five “victims.” I have spent months awake; worrying, crying, traumatized by events beyond my control. I got through it, coming out of the darkness a better person.
The aim of this blog is to tell the world what happened to me; the truth, not just a piece of fiction. I am determined to fight for the abuse to stop. Today, child abuse is at a greater level than ever. Ok, the TV and the internet help to get the message out, but they are also the vehicle of its distribution. I believe that it is getting worse. I hope that my story will help people come to terms with what happened to them, give them strength to come forward. You are not alone. I know, take it from someone who knows; you are not alone. I have never had one day counselling, enough people have tried to get me to. But to me that would show weakness; that sums me up. What a load of crap. That’s something I’ve learned. I am forever grateful to the friends that I have, who over the last couple of years have listened to me. Yes, counselling is to talk to anyone you’re happy talking to. Again, I would like to thank them all.
Having been to court, having got a conviction, I am still no closer to getting any form of compensation. I find all this Legal stuff a bit baffling. I don’t quite understand. As I said in my first post, I’m not the brightest. I am not going to give up; where there is life, there is hope. The most important thing is, “the fight continues.” This is a quote by Jeff Anderson, a man I was very proud to meet.
If you were abused by Robinson, may I invite you to join my blog, talk and, as I said, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” You have my personal assurance of that.
It took me 51 years to figure that out.