Young and Gay in an Abusive Relationship
My name is Zackary Coffman. I recently turned 15 in January, but this story takes place about three years ago, when I was 12.
So after begging my parents for months they finally let me publish a Facebook page. I was excited for this was my first social network account (I later added Instagram, MySpace, etc.) I uploaded pics, added my friends, and all those things people do on FB.
Then about a month and a half later a guy, let’s call him ‘Mark,’ sent me a friend request. Before I did anything, I went on his page to make sure he wasn’t fake or anything because he looked pretty cute in his profile pic. Turns out he wasn’t fake and he actually lived in my area. I accepted and we started talking right away. We became close friends and maybe more than a week later we decided to meet up in person at a park the next day.
We did meet up and turns out he was even better in person then on FB. He was perfect. So perfect that shortly thereafter ‘Mark’ convinced me to become his boyfriend (Note: I was twelve, he was fourteen). So we were the perfect, cute couple for a week. Then his true colors started to show. ‘Mark’ was rude, disrespectful, mean, but worst of all he was abusive. I don’t know why (maybe because I was bisexual and I hung out with my guy/girl friends a lot), but he would punch and slap me. Regardless I was one of those stupid blind people — like in the movies — who didn’t leave him because I thought there was still good in him. But really he scared the living hell out of me.
Then one day he made me have sex with him and that was the day I lost my virginity. It wasn’t rape since I actually wanted to have sex with him, because I thought he would change when I did. But he didn’t. Instead Mark started sexually abusing me and I was just terrified of him by then. Then the day came when he made the stupid mistake of punching me in the face and leaving a big bruise on my left cheek. My parents saw it right away. They made me brake up with Mark (it wasn’t easy), and then made me delete all my accounts on the Internet because they thought I might contact him again through some website.
I couldn’t — no wouldn’t — go out, talk, eat, or do anything. I was 12 and depressed. I’ve been traumatized for life by an abusive boyfriend. The worst three and a half months of my life. But after family, friends, and therapy, I was back on my feet. I was happy again within a year.
Recently I started talking to this guy on FB (don’t worry I’m taking it slow) and I’m just happy again. ‘Mark’ ruined my entire preteen year but I’ve grown to let it pass. So be smart on social networks. Don’t be stupid like me and let something like this happen to you. It’s really something horrible.
Zackary, Chicago, IL